Why I don’t like the term “adoption consultant” and why we specifically chose NOT to call ourselves that at Purl Adoption Advisory.
I (Katie Zimmerman – CEO/Founder) feel like the term “consultant” is used to describe SO MANY different jobs in many different industries, and really nowhere is it really understood what the person’s role is. I swear most CIA agents are often called consultants to anyone they come across, just to be vague about what they actually do…😊
What the heck is an adoption consultant?
Adding the term “adoption” before the word consultant doesn’t help clarify things. In fact, many people in and outside the world of adoption don’t understand what the most popular adoption consultants really do. In fact, even people experienced in adoption confuse adoption consultants with adoption facilitators (unlicensed professionals who work directly with expectant mothers), and some facilitators even use the term “Adoption Consultant” in their name.
What it means to be an “adoption consultant” (as it most commonly understood to be) has been determined by the companies out there using this label most commonly and “successfully” in the industry. But each adoption consulting company does things VERY differently, and in my opinion, they are definitely not considered equal. I believe there are some good ones, but also some doing things very, very badly…
But generally, I think most adoption consultants would agree that the primary goal of an adoption consultant is to help adoptive families match and adopt more quickly. Most advocate for a multi-agency approach so that the prospective adoptive parents have more options to choose from than they would if they signed on with just one adoption agency. They provide some basic background/education on adoption (usually in the form of a Guidebook or Handbook).
I have seen adoption consultants work in one of two ways, 1) the adoption consultant provides a list of agencies with low or no up-front costs that the prospective adoptive parents sign up with directly to see adoption opportunities and they are supplemented by cases that come through the consultant as well or 2) the adoption consultant does not encourage the prospective adoptive parents to sign up with professionals at all, instead, the adoption consultant just forwards cases from various professionals they are networked with to the adoption consultants’ clients. In both scenarios, the actual adoption will take place between the adoption agency or attorney handling the placement, the adoption consultant was just the connector between the prospective adoptive parent and the placing professionals. Some consultants have very little contact with their families except to send them cases or an adoption professionals list, while others have more education/preparation throughout their journey and offer case by case analysis.
Our CEO/Founder used a Well-Known Consultant during her journey
Personally, my husband and I used a well-known adoption consultant during our own personal adoption journey. When we signed on, we received a packet of helpful background information about adoption. We also received a list of adoption professionals we could sign on with, although it was not customized for us, all clients received the same list. Many of the professionals on the list wouldn’t work with us for one reason or another, either because we hadn’t been married long enough, we didn’t live in that state, or they were full, but we did sign up with a few professionals on the list that we started seeing cases with directly. We did not have the opportunity to talk to our consultant about which professionals might be right for us, or what the practices were like at each agency. We received no education outside of the handbook we received when we signed up. We did receive some cases from the adoption consultant directly, typically where the adoption professional did not have waiting families or didn’t have the type of waiting families the expectant mother was looking for. We were told we could call our consultant if we wanted to discuss a case, but her hours were between 9:30 – 3:00 pm. Because of that, I rarely called my consultant when we saw a case and said yes and no to adoption opportunities blindly.
We matched quickly through our home study provider after getting absolutely no education during our home study process either, and we were very unprepared when we experienced our disrupted adoption a few months later. We had learned quickly during our match about the “icky” side of adoption, where adoption professionals ship expectant mothers across the country to avoid the laws of that state. We also learned that many adoption agencies who take this practice put their expectant mothers up in some of the worst extended stay hotels in town, where drug deals are happening right outside their hotel room doors. This is the case even with expectant mothers with history of addiction but that are trying to stay clean during their pregnancy. The expectant mother we were matched with didn’t receive any counseling and the agency made no attempt to secure resources available in the state or county, even though those services may have been available had they stayed in their home state. The agency even signed up their expectant mothers on state Medicaid even though those women didn’t actually live in the state (think Medicaid fraud!). The worst thing we saw though was that they also encouraged women to travel with their children across the country, only to lose them to foster care when they tested positive for drugs/alcohol at the hospital, even though they were far, far from home and any family members that might be able to take custody. We were so unprepared for the circumstances around the birth and consent signing, and felt very alone in that process. So we definitely learned personally about who NOT to work with, even though that professional was supposedly vetted and recommended by our consultant, and even after our experience, supposedly still is a part of so many adoption consultants’ “recommended list”.
We are advisors not consultants …
So we formed Purl to be different from the adoption consultant we used, and different from the others we saw out there in the industry. The journey to adoption is an overwhelming, complex, and emotional process. At Purl, we understand the importance of education, preparation, and support for families as they begin their adoption journey. That’s why we call ourselves “adoption advisors” instead of “adoption consultants”. Some may argue that the difference between the terms is subtle and unnecessary, however, we respectfully disagree. As adoption advisors, we focus on providing our clients with more than just a contact sheet of adoption professionals for families to work with and a generic list of adoption resources. Our focus is education primarily, and by preparing our families better, making adoption experiences better. We understand that each family’s adoption journey is unique, and we strive to provide customized support and guidance to meet each family’s specific needs. Our advisors provide one-on-one coaching tailored to each individual family, along with group educational coaching calls on every topic imaginable in adoption. We utilize customized coaching calls to walk families through each step of the process, customized for their journey, but typically covering five different stages, 1) the home study/profile creation process, 2) helping a family determine their adoption preferences (with recommendations for videos to watch from experienced professionals to help make that process easier) and helping them understand what those decisions have on their process, and 3) selecting adoption professionals. Who a family chooses to help them is so much more important than just selecting a list of professionals on a list, so we ensure that each of our families has discussed that thoroughly with their advisor. Once our families are chosen, we help them 4) navigate the process after they are chosen, helping prepare them for communicating with and have care and empathy for the expectant parents who chose them and for what things they might see during the match. Then, right before the expectant mother’s due date, we 5) help them understand what they might see in the hospital and waiting period, and beyond if the placement occurs. Our goal is to ensure that families are well-informed and prepared for each step in the adoption process. Our strategy tends to lead to faster matches/adoptions as well compared to signing on with just one agency, but that is secondary to the preparation/education we offer. Our support continues indefinitely for Purl Families, as they have access to guidance through our Purl Family communication and our group coaching calls (and the taped versions of those calls) long after they have adopted.
Our founder is a lawyer …
Purl Families receive a comprehensive overview of the adoption process, and that should also include guidance on the legal aspects of adoption. Adoption is a legal process, so we believe that every adoptive family should be supported by an attorney through the process. As an attorney myself, I understand the importance of hiring an experienced lawyer for such an important legal process. We ensure each Purl family consults with an experienced adoption attorney in their state at the outset of their journey and engages an attorney at least by the time of match. I also have the lawyer “brain” that allows us to better understand the law and nuances and build lasting relationships with adoption attorneys and agencies across the country.
Pushing for more ethical adoptions is a standard at Purl
At Purl, we understand the importance of working with reputable and ethical adoption professionals. We curate a list of adoption professionals specific to each family based on their particular family makeup, budget, adoption preferences, location, etc. As previously mentioned, we have strong referral relationships with professionals across the country, especially AAAA lawyers (Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys – typically referred to as “Quad A”). No adoption professional is perfect, but we share the pros/cons of working with each one and help them understand what their adoption might look like if they utilize a particular professional.
We also believe that it is important to provide ethical and better adoption experiences for all involved. We push for separate attorneys for expectant parents, care for the expectant mother pre- and post-placement, and involvement by lawyers starting at the match. We avoid recommending professionals located in states where unethical issues are more common (for example: adoption agencies like we used that move the pregnant mother to another state). Minimally, we make sure our families understand the pitfalls of the choices they are making in their journey, so that they can proceed with their eyes wide open.
We also do so much more
Purl Advisors provide information on the various stages of the adoption process, including the home study, the wait, matching, and finalization. We encourage everyone to utilize their “case by case analysis”, discussing the adoption opportunities they receive from any source, even if they come in on nights and weekends, as in my experience, we never saw cases between 9:30 – 3:00 pm!
Cost is also a major concern for many families considering adoption. We provide information on the various expenses associated with adoption and can discuss different funding options, such as grants, loans, and even the pros/cons of fundraising. We also help families understand their adoption preferences and how these preferences may impact the cost and timeline of the adoption process. We even help our families with strategy in this process, helping them write customized letters to the expectant mothers they are presenting to, to give them a better chance of connecting with and being chosen by an expectant parent considering adoption for their child.
We can provide a sense of community
The adoption process can be isolating, and that’s why we provide a sense of community for our families pursuing adoption. With monthly group education Zoom calls, a private Facebook group, complementary counseling sessions, and in-person Purl Family events; we offer the opportunity to connect with other prospective adoptive families and professionals who have navigated or are navigating the adoption process.
We are here for you …
We believe that with proper education and preparation, Purl Families will be more supported in the adoption process, and after adoption as adoptive parents. By focusing on education, preparation, and support, we can help families navigate the adoption process with confidence and peace of mind. We feel our model works too and have countless Google reviews to prove what we do and have done matters! We believe this education and preparation helps all members of the triad, but particularly the adoptee and the expectant and birth parents that aren’t typically advocated for. We feel we have made an organization that is much more than just a list of resources; we are a team of adoption advisors who are here to support you every step of the way!
If you are interested in adoption and interested in scheduling a free consultation, please click here, or at least along with us here or on social media for tips!
Why I don’t like the term “adoption consultant” and why we specifically chose NOT to call ourselves that at Purl Adoption Advisory.
I (Katie Zimmerman – CEO/Founder) feel like the term “consultant” is used to describe SO MANY different jobs in many different industries, and really nowhere is it really understood what the person’s role is. I swear most CIA agents are often called consultants to anyone they come across, just to be vague about what they actually do…😊
What the heck is an adoption consultant?
Adding the term “adoption” before the word consultant doesn’t help clarify things. In fact, many people in and outside the world of adoption don’t understand what the most popular adoption consultants really do. In fact, even people experienced in adoption confuse adoption consultants with adoption facilitators (unlicensed professionals who work directly with expectant mothers), and some facilitators even use the term “Adoption Consultant” in their name.
What it means to be an “adoption consultant” (as it most commonly understood to be) has been determined by the companies out there using this label most commonly and “successfully” in the industry. But each adoption consulting company does things VERY differently, and in my opinion, they are definitely not considered equal. I believe there are some good ones, but also some doing things very, very badly…
But generally, I think most adoption consultants would agree that the primary goal of an adoption consultant is to help adoptive families match and adopt more quickly. Most advocate for a multi-agency approach so that the prospective adoptive parents have more options to choose from than they would if they signed on with just one adoption agency. They provide some basic background/education on adoption (usually in the form of a Guidebook or Handbook).
I have seen adoption consultants work in one of two ways, 1) the adoption consultant provides a list of agencies with low or no up-front costs that the prospective adoptive parents sign up with directly to see adoption opportunities and they are supplemented by cases that come through the consultant as well or 2) the adoption consultant does not encourage the prospective adoptive parents to sign up with professionals at all, instead, the adoption consultant just forwards cases from various professionals they are networked with to the adoption consultants’ clients. In both scenarios, the actual adoption will take place between the adoption agency or attorney handling the placement, the adoption consultant was just the connector between the prospective adoptive parent and the placing professionals. Some consultants have very little contact with their families except to send them cases or an adoption professionals list, while others have more education/preparation throughout their journey and offer case by case analysis.
Our CEO/Founder used a Well-Known Consultant during her journey
Personally, my husband and I used a well-known adoption consultant during our own personal adoption journey. When we signed on, we received a packet of helpful background information about adoption. We also received a list of adoption professionals we could sign on with, although it was not customized for us, all clients received the same list. Many of the professionals on the list wouldn’t work with us for one reason or another, either because we hadn’t been married long enough, we didn’t live in that state, or they were full, but we did sign up with a few professionals on the list that we started seeing cases with directly. We did not have the opportunity to talk to our consultant about which professionals might be right for us, or what the practices were like at each agency. We received no education outside of the handbook we received when we signed up. We did receive some cases from the adoption consultant directly, typically where the adoption professional did not have waiting families or didn’t have the type of waiting families the expectant mother was looking for. We were told we could call our consultant if we wanted to discuss a case, but her hours were between 9:30 – 3:00 pm. Because of that, I rarely called my consultant when we saw a case and said yes and no to adoption opportunities blindly.
We matched quickly through our home study provider after getting absolutely no education during our home study process either, and we were very unprepared when we experienced our disrupted adoption a few months later. We had learned quickly during our match about the “icky” side of adoption, where adoption professionals ship expectant mothers across the country to avoid the laws of that state. We also learned that many adoption agencies who take this practice put their expectant mothers up in some of the worst extended stay hotels in town, where drug deals are happening right outside their hotel room doors. This is the case even with expectant mothers with history of addiction but that are trying to stay clean during their pregnancy. The expectant mother we were matched with didn’t receive any counseling and the agency made no attempt to secure resources available in the state or county, even though those services may have been available had they stayed in their home state. The agency even signed up their expectant mothers on state Medicaid even though those women didn’t actually live in the state (think Medicaid fraud!). The worst thing we saw though was that they also encouraged women to travel with their children across the country, only to lose them to foster care when they tested positive for drugs/alcohol at the hospital, even though they were far, far from home and any family members that might be able to take custody. We were so unprepared for the circumstances around the birth and consent signing, and felt very alone in that process. So we definitely learned personally about who NOT to work with, even though that professional was supposedly vetted and recommended by our consultant, and even after our experience, supposedly still is a part of so many adoption consultants’ “recommended list”.
We are advisors not consultants …
So we formed Purl to be different from the adoption consultant we used, and different from the others we saw out there in the industry. The journey to adoption is an overwhelming, complex, and emotional process. At Purl, we understand the importance of education, preparation, and support for families as they begin their adoption journey. That’s why we call ourselves “adoption advisors” instead of “adoption consultants”. Some may argue that the difference between the terms is subtle and unnecessary, however, we respectfully disagree. As adoption advisors, we focus on providing our clients with more than just a contact sheet of adoption professionals for families to work with and a generic list of adoption resources. Our focus is education primarily, and by preparing our families better, making adoption experiences better. We understand that each family’s adoption journey is unique, and we strive to provide customized support and guidance to meet each family’s specific needs. Our advisors provide one-on-one coaching tailored to each individual family, along with group educational coaching calls on every topic imaginable in adoption. We utilize customized coaching calls to walk families through each step of the process, customized for their journey, but typically covering five different stages, 1) the home study/profile creation process, 2) helping a family determine their adoption preferences (with recommendations for videos to watch from experienced professionals to help make that process easier) and helping them understand what those decisions have on their process, and 3) selecting adoption professionals. Who a family chooses to help them is so much more important than just selecting a list of professionals on a list, so we ensure that each of our families has discussed that thoroughly with their advisor. Once our families are chosen, we help them 4) navigate the process after they are chosen, helping prepare them for communicating with and have care and empathy for the expectant parents who chose them and for what things they might see during the match. Then, right before the expectant mother’s due date, we 5) help them understand what they might see in the hospital and waiting period, and beyond if the placement occurs. Our goal is to ensure that families are well-informed and prepared for each step in the adoption process. Our strategy tends to lead to faster matches/adoptions as well compared to signing on with just one agency, but that is secondary to the preparation/education we offer. Our support continues indefinitely for Purl Families, as they have access to guidance through our Purl Family communication and our group coaching calls (and the taped versions of those calls) long after they have adopted.
Our founder is a lawyer …
Purl Families receive a comprehensive overview of the adoption process, and that should also include guidance on the legal aspects of adoption. Adoption is a legal process, so we believe that every adoptive family should be supported by an attorney through the process. As an attorney myself, I understand the importance of hiring an experienced lawyer for such an important legal process. We ensure each Purl family consults with an experienced adoption attorney in their state at the outset of their journey and engages an attorney at least by the time of match. I also have the lawyer “brain” that allows us to better understand the law and nuances and build lasting relationships with adoption attorneys and agencies across the country.
Pushing for more ethical adoptions is a standard at Purl
At Purl, we understand the importance of working with reputable and ethical adoption professionals. We curate a list of adoption professionals specific to each family based on their particular family makeup, budget, adoption preferences, location, etc. As previously mentioned, we have strong referral relationships with professionals across the country, especially AAAA lawyers (Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys – typically referred to as “Quad A”). No adoption professional is perfect, but we share the pros/cons of working with each one and help them understand what their adoption might look like if they utilize a particular professional.
We also believe that it is important to provide ethical and better adoption experiences for all involved. We push for separate attorneys for expectant parents, care for the expectant mother pre- and post-placement, and involvement by lawyers starting at the match. We avoid recommending professionals located in states where unethical issues are more common (for example: adoption agencies like we used that move the pregnant mother to another state). Minimally, we make sure our families understand the pitfalls of the choices they are making in their journey, so that they can proceed with their eyes wide open.
We also do so much more
Purl Advisors provide information on the various stages of the adoption process, including the home study, the wait, matching, and finalization. We encourage everyone to utilize their “case by case analysis”, discussing the adoption opportunities they receive from any source, even if they come in on nights and weekends, as in my experience, we never saw cases between 9:30 – 3:00 pm!
Cost is also a major concern for many families considering adoption. We provide information on the various expenses associated with adoption and can discuss different funding options, such as grants, loans, and even the pros/cons of fundraising. We also help families understand their adoption preferences and how these preferences may impact the cost and timeline of the adoption process. We even help our families with strategy in this process, helping them write customized letters to the expectant mothers they are presenting to, to give them a better chance of connecting with and being chosen by an expectant parent considering adoption for their child.
We can provide a sense of community
The adoption process can be isolating, and that’s why we provide a sense of community for our families pursuing adoption. With monthly group education Zoom calls, a private Facebook group, complementary counseling sessions, and in-person Purl Family events; we offer the opportunity to connect with other prospective adoptive families and professionals who have navigated or are navigating the adoption process.
We are here for you …
We believe that with proper education and preparation, Purl Families will be more supported in the adoption process, and after adoption as adoptive parents. By focusing on education, preparation, and support, we can help families navigate the adoption process with confidence and peace of mind. We feel our model works too and have countless Google reviews to prove what we do and have done matters! We believe this education and preparation helps all members of the triad, but particularly the adoptee and the expectant and birth parents that aren’t typically advocated for. We feel we have made an organization that is much more than just a list of resources; we are a team of adoption advisors who are here to support you every step of the way!
If you are interested in adoption and interested in scheduling a free consultation, please click here, or at least along with us here or on social media for tips!
