In today’s post, Purl Adoption Advisor, Kelcie Grace, delves into adoptive breastfeeding. She explores the complexities of inducing lactation, the challenges and rewards it brings, and offers reputable resources for adoptive parents considering this option. Kelcie Grace acknowledges that adoptive breastfeeding can evoke a range of opinions and emotions from those in the adoption triad. In this article, she reminds readers that it is crucial to approach this journey with professional guidance to safeguard the health and well-being of both the parent and child, as well as considerations and communications with the child’s birth parent.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, lactation consultant, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
Adoptive Breastfeeding: A Way to Bond
Breastfeeding is a natural and intimate way to nourish and bond with a baby. For those in the adoption process, the idea of breastfeeding their child through adoption may never have even occurred to them. However, with the right support and resources, it is possible to induce lactation, although the process can be challenging. The decision for adoptive parents to breastfeed their child through adoption is complex and sparks significant debate within the adoption community. Anyone considering this process should take the time to educate themselves the process of inducing lactation including the risks and benefits, as well as take time to understand the various perspectives from the adoption triad.
A Fed Baby is Best
Let me start by making something incredibly clear: a well-fed and nourished baby is the ultimate goal!! While the phrase “breast is best” is often used to promote breastfeeding, whether a child is fed with formula, donor milk, or breast milk, the priority should always be to ensure they receive adequate nutrition. Formula is a safe and healthy option that provides essential nutrients for a baby’s development. Many babies throughout the world thrive on formula. Each family’s situation is unique, and their feeding decision should be respected and supported. The focus must remain on what is best for the child’s health and well-being.
Benefits of Breastfeeding
But yes, breastfeeding does offer numerous benefits to both the baby and the parent. Breastmilk contains essential nutrients and antibodies that help build a baby’s immune system. The act of breastfeeding also creates a strong bond between the parent and the child. However, at the risk of sounding repetitive, it is crucial to reemphasize that a well-fed baby is the top priority, and the benefits of breastfeeding should NEVER overshadow the importance of providing proper nutrition.
Seeking Professional Support is Necessary
Before I discuss the basics of lactation induction, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking professional support through this process. There are many excellent resources that adoptive parents can review, including:
- Articles from reputable organizations:
- The book Breastfeeding Without Birthing by Alyssa Schnell
- Information and consultation with The International Breastfeeding Centre
- Peer support from Facebook groups like the Inducing Lactation – Surrogacy, Co-Nursing, Adoptive or Chest Feeding
These resources are extremely valuable as you consider whether this is the right path for your family. However, it is critical to seek guidance and support from your personal medical provider (Primary Care Provider or Obstetrician/Gynecologist), as well as, direct hands-on support from an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) or Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC). This professional advice and assistance is essential because inducing lactation needs to be tailored to your specific health needs and personal circumstances. Medical providers can ensure the processes you choose is safe and as effective as possible for your body and the baby. Please know that not all medical professionals are aware of or trained in lactation induction, you may need to request a referral to a provider with knowledge of this topic. It is also important to inform your child’s pediatrician that you are breastfeeding and explain how you went about inducing lactation, so they can properly assess and ensure the child’s safety.
Professional support also provides practice advice and emotional encouragement. Breastfeeding can be challenging even for those who birthed their child, and inducing lactation can be even more stressful. With the right supports in place, many adoptive parents have successfully created a nurturing and fulfilling breastfeeding experience.
Basics of Lactation Induction
Now, let’s dive into the basics of lactation induction. Inducing lactation, in the context of adoption, refers to the process by which an adoptive parent stimulates milk production for the purpose of feeding their adoptive child. Each individual seeking to induce lactation will approach it differently and it will also vary whether or not have given birth or breastfed in the past. Options to induce lactation can include any or all of the following:
- Hormonal treatments: such as the use of birth control to mimic the hormonal changes of pregnancy
- Physical stimulation: using a breast pump and/or nipple stimulation on a regular schedule daily
- Medications or herbal supplements: Prescribed medications or over-the-counter herbal supplements that are known to promote lactation
If you have not breastfed before, it is unlikely that you will be able to produce a full supply of breast milk. In such cases, you will want to prepare to supplement with donor milk or formula. A Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) is a device that consists of a container of milk and a thin tube taped to the parent’s nipple, allowing the baby to receive extra milk as they suckle. This system can be used to help provide additional nutrition while still allowing the baby to nurse at the breast. Many who breastfeed, including those who gave birth to the child, are unable to produce enough breast milk to meet the nutritional requirements of a growing baby. This can be extremely frustrating and may leave you feeling inadequate. Preparing for this ahead of time can help manage expectations while maintaining the emotional and physical bonding benefits of breastfeeding.
Understanding Donor Milk
I will take a moment to tangent and discuss donor breast milk: Donor milk is breast milk that has been graciously given by other lactating parents. It can be an invaluable resource for adoptive parents whether they decide to attempt to induce lactation themselves or not. You can get donor milk formally through milk banks, which screen and pasteurize the milk to ensure its safety. Access to milk from milk banks can be difficult and often requires a doctor’s prescription. It can also be expensive, and there may be limits on how much or how long your child can receive the milk.
Alternatively, breast milk can be sourced informally through local groups such as Human Milk for Human Babies, a well-known network often considered trustworthy. This option is typically free. When using informal sources, you will need to vet each donor yourself. Ask questions about their diet, medications, substance use, and overall health. It’s crucial to trust your instincts and ensure the donor milk you choose is safe and of high quality for your baby. Doing thorough research will help you choose the best option for your family’s needs.
Understanding the Motivation to Induce Lactation
Before you start on this journey, I really want to encourage you to consider why you want to induce lactation. If the sole reason for your interest in breastfeeding your child through adoption is rooted in your sense of loss from not giving birth and breastfeeding a biological child, this is not the healthiest motivation. I urge you to reflect on your feelings and address any grief through other methods like counseling or support groups. You want to make this decision with a clear mind to ensure you are making the best decision for your child through adoption and for your family (which now includes, or will soon include, your child’s birth family). The decision to induce lactation should come from a place of wanting to provide nourishment for and bonding with your child through adoption. It is about what will make this child feel loved and supported during this crucial early stage of their development. Again, a gentle reminder that breastfeeding is not the only way to provide essential nutrients and bond with your child through adoption. What matters most is that they are well-fed, loved, and cared for.
Birth Parent’s Breast Milk
In some cases, a birth parent may want to provide their personal breast milk for their child. If it is safe to do so, this can be a wonderful opportunity for the child to receive additional nourishment and connection to their biological parent. There are even companies that offer freeze-drying and shipping services for breast milk, making this option more accessible.
If the birth parent was using substances during the pregnancy, involving a medical professional in this decision is crucial. A healthcare provider can assess whether the breast milk is safe for the baby. They can also determine if breastfeeding or providing the breast milk might actually help in weaning the child from the substances they were exposed to in utero.
A birth parent’s decision to breastfeed their child does not necessarily indicate that they are rethinking their decision to place their child for adoption. This desire may be one of their remaining opportunities to bond in an intimate way with their child. It may provide comfort and a sense of closeness for both the parent and the baby during this significant disconnection that is occurring.
Adoptive Breastfeeding is a Polarizing Topic
The concept of adoptive breastfeeding can evoke strong emotions in the adoption community. Some birth parents and adult adoptees feel that adoptive breastfeeding may be the adoptive parent’s way of replacing or erasing the birth mother’s important role in their child’s life. Breastfeeding, by nature, is a very intimate bonding experience between a parent and their child. For some birth parents, the thought of another person breastfeeding their child can feel intrusive and amplify feelings of loss and displacement.
As I previously mentioned, the process of inducing lactation often involves the use of medications and/or hormonal treatments, which raises concerns about the safety for both the adoptive parent and for the baby. The potential side effects and long-term health implications of these medications, though limited and rare, are a concern for some. Anyone who is embarking on this journey should take their time to understand any side effects with the support of medical professionals. If deemed safe for your situation, you can discuss this directly with the expectant parents.
Some birth parents may be concerned that the time, effort, and emotional commitment needed to induce lactation will overwhelm the adoptive parents. Lactation induction does not always result in a full milk supply. This reality can add stress and disappointment for adoptive parents who are already navigating the complexities of adoption and could potentially disrupt the already delicate bond being created.
Ultimately, adoptive breastfeeding should be approached with sensitivity to the feelings of all members of the adoption triad. At Purl, we advise all our families considering adoptive breastfeeding to share this desire with the expectant parents and discuss any concerns they may have. The expectant parents have a right to know how the potential adoptive parents plan to feed their child, especially when it may be in such an intimate way. Open communication and respect for the perspectives of expectant/birth parents and adoptees are essential.
The Bottom Line
Choosing to breastfeed your child through adoption is a deeply personal decision. It involves emotional, physical, and practical considerations. It will require compassion and sensitivity toward all members of the adoption triad. Throughout this process, seek guidance from licensed and certified medical professionals, utilize reputable resources, and maintain open communication with your child’s expectant/birth family and healthcare providers. Whether you choose to induce lactation, use donor milk, or formula, the goal remains the same: to provide your child with adequate nourishment and the love and care they need to thrive.
Adoptive Breastfeeding: A Personal Journey
If you’re interested in a personal perspective on adoptive breastfeeding, check out our former client Ashley’s blog. Ashley worked with Purl Adoption Advisory to adopt and shares her heartfelt journey of breastfeeding her child through adoption. Her story is filled with insights, challenges, and the deep bond she created through this unique experience. You can read more about Ashley’s journey here.
In today’s post, Purl Adoption Advisor, Kelcie Grace, delves into adoptive breastfeeding. She explores the complexities of inducing lactation, the challenges and rewards it brings, and offers reputable resources for adoptive parents considering this option. Kelcie Grace acknowledges that adoptive breastfeeding can evoke a range of opinions and emotions from those in the adoption triad. In this article, she reminds readers that it is crucial to approach this journey with professional guidance to safeguard the health and well-being of both the parent and child, as well as considerations and communications with the child’s birth parent.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, lactation consultant, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
Adoptive Breastfeeding: A Way to Bond
Breastfeeding is a natural and intimate way to nourish and bond with a baby. For those in the adoption process, the idea of breastfeeding their child through adoption may never have even occurred to them. However, with the right support and resources, it is possible to induce lactation, although the process can be challenging. The decision for adoptive parents to breastfeed their child through adoption is complex and sparks significant debate within the adoption community. Anyone considering this process should take the time to educate themselves the process of inducing lactation including the risks and benefits, as well as take time to understand the various perspectives from the adoption triad.
A Fed Baby is Best
Let me start by making something incredibly clear: a well-fed and nourished baby is the ultimate goal!! While the phrase “breast is best” is often used to promote breastfeeding, whether a child is fed with formula, donor milk, or breast milk, the priority should always be to ensure they receive adequate nutrition. Formula is a safe and healthy option that provides essential nutrients for a baby’s development. Many babies throughout the world thrive on formula. Each family’s situation is unique, and their feeding decision should be respected and supported. The focus must remain on what is best for the child’s health and well-being.
Benefits of Breastfeeding
But yes, breastfeeding does offer numerous benefits to both the baby and the parent. Breastmilk contains essential nutrients and antibodies that help build a baby’s immune system. The act of breastfeeding also creates a strong bond between the parent and the child. However, at the risk of sounding repetitive, it is crucial to reemphasize that a well-fed baby is the top priority, and the benefits of breastfeeding should NEVER overshadow the importance of providing proper nutrition.
Seeking Professional Support is Necessary
Before I discuss the basics of lactation induction, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking professional support through this process. There are many excellent resources that adoptive parents can review, including:
- Articles from reputable organizations:
- The book Breastfeeding Without Birthing by Alyssa Schnell
- Information and consultation with The International Breastfeeding Centre
- Peer support from Facebook groups like the Inducing Lactation – Surrogacy, Co-Nursing, Adoptive or Chest Feeding
These resources are extremely valuable as you consider whether this is the right path for your family. However, it is critical to seek guidance and support from your personal medical provider (Primary Care Provider or Obstetrician/Gynecologist), as well as, direct hands-on support from an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) or Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC). This professional advice and assistance is essential because inducing lactation needs to be tailored to your specific health needs and personal circumstances. Medical providers can ensure the processes you choose is safe and as effective as possible for your body and the baby. Please know that not all medical professionals are aware of or trained in lactation induction, you may need to request a referral to a provider with knowledge of this topic. It is also important to inform your child’s pediatrician that you are breastfeeding and explain how you went about inducing lactation, so they can properly assess and ensure the child’s safety.
Professional support also provides practice advice and emotional encouragement. Breastfeeding can be challenging even for those who birthed their child, and inducing lactation can be even more stressful. With the right supports in place, many adoptive parents have successfully created a nurturing and fulfilling breastfeeding experience.
Basics of Lactation Induction
Now, let’s dive into the basics of lactation induction. Inducing lactation, in the context of adoption, refers to the process by which an adoptive parent stimulates milk production for the purpose of feeding their adoptive child. Each individual seeking to induce lactation will approach it differently and it will also vary whether or not have given birth or breastfed in the past. Options to induce lactation can include any or all of the following:
- Hormonal treatments: such as the use of birth control to mimic the hormonal changes of pregnancy
- Physical stimulation: using a breast pump and/or nipple stimulation on a regular schedule daily
- Medications or herbal supplements: Prescribed medications or over-the-counter herbal supplements that are known to promote lactation
If you have not breastfed before, it is unlikely that you will be able to produce a full supply of breast milk. In such cases, you will want to prepare to supplement with donor milk or formula. A Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) is a device that consists of a container of milk and a thin tube taped to the parent’s nipple, allowing the baby to receive extra milk as they suckle. This system can be used to help provide additional nutrition while still allowing the baby to nurse at the breast. Many who breastfeed, including those who gave birth to the child, are unable to produce enough breast milk to meet the nutritional requirements of a growing baby. This can be extremely frustrating and may leave you feeling inadequate. Preparing for this ahead of time can help manage expectations while maintaining the emotional and physical bonding benefits of breastfeeding.
Understanding Donor Milk
I will take a moment to tangent and discuss donor breast milk: Donor milk is breast milk that has been graciously given by other lactating parents. It can be an invaluable resource for adoptive parents whether they decide to attempt to induce lactation themselves or not. You can get donor milk formally through milk banks, which screen and pasteurize the milk to ensure its safety. Access to milk from milk banks can be difficult and often requires a doctor’s prescription. It can also be expensive, and there may be limits on how much or how long your child can receive the milk.
Alternatively, breast milk can be sourced informally through local groups such as Human Milk for Human Babies, a well-known network often considered trustworthy. This option is typically free. When using informal sources, you will need to vet each donor yourself. Ask questions about their diet, medications, substance use, and overall health. It’s crucial to trust your instincts and ensure the donor milk you choose is safe and of high quality for your baby. Doing thorough research will help you choose the best option for your family’s needs.
Understanding the Motivation to Induce Lactation
Before you start on this journey, I really want to encourage you to consider why you want to induce lactation. If the sole reason for your interest in breastfeeding your child through adoption is rooted in your sense of loss from not giving birth and breastfeeding a biological child, this is not the healthiest motivation. I urge you to reflect on your feelings and address any grief through other methods like counseling or support groups. You want to make this decision with a clear mind to ensure you are making the best decision for your child through adoption and for your family (which now includes, or will soon include, your child’s birth family). The decision to induce lactation should come from a place of wanting to provide nourishment for and bonding with your child through adoption. It is about what will make this child feel loved and supported during this crucial early stage of their development. Again, a gentle reminder that breastfeeding is not the only way to provide essential nutrients and bond with your child through adoption. What matters most is that they are well-fed, loved, and cared for.
Birth Parent’s Breast Milk
In some cases, a birth parent may want to provide their personal breast milk for their child. If it is safe to do so, this can be a wonderful opportunity for the child to receive additional nourishment and connection to their biological parent. There are even companies that offer freeze-drying and shipping services for breast milk, making this option more accessible.
If the birth parent was using substances during the pregnancy, involving a medical professional in this decision is crucial. A healthcare provider can assess whether the breast milk is safe for the baby. They can also determine if breastfeeding or providing the breast milk might actually help in weaning the child from the substances they were exposed to in utero.
A birth parent’s decision to breastfeed their child does not necessarily indicate that they are rethinking their decision to place their child for adoption. This desire may be one of their remaining opportunities to bond in an intimate way with their child. It may provide comfort and a sense of closeness for both the parent and the baby during this significant disconnection that is occurring.
Adoptive Breastfeeding is a Polarizing Topic
The concept of adoptive breastfeeding can evoke strong emotions in the adoption community. Some birth parents and adult adoptees feel that adoptive breastfeeding may be the adoptive parent’s way of replacing or erasing the birth mother’s important role in their child’s life. Breastfeeding, by nature, is a very intimate bonding experience between a parent and their child. For some birth parents, the thought of another person breastfeeding their child can feel intrusive and amplify feelings of loss and displacement.
As I previously mentioned, the process of inducing lactation often involves the use of medications and/or hormonal treatments, which raises concerns about the safety for both the adoptive parent and for the baby. The potential side effects and long-term health implications of these medications, though limited and rare, are a concern for some. Anyone who is embarking on this journey should take their time to understand any side effects with the support of medical professionals. If deemed safe for your situation, you can discuss this directly with the expectant parents.
Some birth parents may be concerned that the time, effort, and emotional commitment needed to induce lactation will overwhelm the adoptive parents. Lactation induction does not always result in a full milk supply. This reality can add stress and disappointment for adoptive parents who are already navigating the complexities of adoption and could potentially disrupt the already delicate bond being created.
Ultimately, adoptive breastfeeding should be approached with sensitivity to the feelings of all members of the adoption triad. At Purl, we advise all our families considering adoptive breastfeeding to share this desire with the expectant parents and discuss any concerns they may have. The expectant parents have a right to know how the potential adoptive parents plan to feed their child, especially when it may be in such an intimate way. Open communication and respect for the perspectives of expectant/birth parents and adoptees are essential.
The Bottom Line
Choosing to breastfeed your child through adoption is a deeply personal decision. It involves emotional, physical, and practical considerations. It will require compassion and sensitivity toward all members of the adoption triad. Throughout this process, seek guidance from licensed and certified medical professionals, utilize reputable resources, and maintain open communication with your child’s expectant/birth family and healthcare providers. Whether you choose to induce lactation, use donor milk, or formula, the goal remains the same: to provide your child with adequate nourishment and the love and care they need to thrive.
Adoptive Breastfeeding: A Personal Journey
If you’re interested in a personal perspective on adoptive breastfeeding, check out our former client Ashley’s blog. Ashley worked with Purl Adoption Advisory to adopt and shares her heartfelt journey of breastfeeding her child through adoption. Her story is filled with insights, challenges, and the deep bond she created through this unique experience. You can read more about Ashley’s journey here.
