This is a letter by an adoptive father to his daughter’s birth father, who was not involved in the adoption plan and is still unknown to her adoptive family.
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I am a dad through adoption and the only person my daughter has known as a father. I wanted to write to you on Father’s Day to share some thoughts I have and to introduce you to the daughter you may not even know is out there. I think of you often but felt compelled this year to share with you my thoughts and feelings about our adoption and about your beautiful daughter.
My wife and I adopted our daughter at birth, and it was the happiest day of my life at that point. To be granted the gift of fatherhood is the most important gift I have ever received. Having my daughter is the greatest joy of my life. I get to experience what life is all about for me. I get to love and be loved, to protect, to provide, to teach and to learn. What is most important to me is that my daughter gets whatever is best for her in their growth, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I believe having an open and honest dialogue about you is what is best for my daughter both mentally and emotionally. I can’t help but wonder how you might feel about having a daughter out there that you don’t know? Would you have chosen adoption for her? Would you have chosen me to be her dad? The answers to these questions haunt me at times, but I am hopeful that you would be content knowing how much she is loved by our family.
My daughter has always known that she was adopted. We have been open about her birth family and she has an open adoption with her birth mother and birth siblings. Although we do not know who you are, my child has always known you are out there somewhere. We often talk about you, generally, we say “I wonder if you got your beautiful hair from your birth father and maybe even the mischievous twinkle in your eye?” As she gets older and has more questions, I want you to know that we will always be truthful and transparent. We know these discussions of you will get increasingly difficult, particularly since we don’t have any details to share, but we promise to always talk about you in a positive manner. I hope that our daughter will someday find you and that you both get the best of what reunification can bring. I know that may someday be hard for me, but I believe she should get the chance to know you, and love you, the way I have known and loved her throughout her life.
I would love to share with you all the amazing things that make up our daughter. How she loves animals, and wants animals to be part of every minute of everyday. She makes some of the most beautiful pictures, and they tell the story of her hopes and feelings. She makes friends easily with her beautiful smile and outgoing nature! She is a picky eater and isn’t too keen on trying new things, but is getting a little more adventurous. She is strong, sensitive and resilient. She loves to tell stories and to tell you random facts she’s learned at school. She LOVES to be tickled and she has an infectious giggle. She has shown an ability to handle adversity and find success. While she loves to play games and run around with her friends, she doesn’t like organized sports and could play make believe with her Barbies for hours. I often wonder which of these traits she received from you. There are so many unanswered questions, but watching her, I know that she is who she is at least in some ways due to who you are, and in some ways because I’ve had the pleasure of raising her.
Being a father is wonderful, but it is also difficult. Being a father through adoption is that way too. I wish you got the pleasure of knowing this sweet girl. I hope you too would be as proud as her as I am, and I hope that you would be proud of how I am raising her. I promise she will always know that I love her and will do my best being her dad. You are a part of this incredible little girl and because of that, you are very special to me.
Happy Father’s Day…
This is a letter by an adoptive father to his daughter’s birth father, who was not involved in the adoption plan and is still unknown to her adoptive family.
—
I am a dad through adoption and the only person my daughter has known as a father. I wanted to write to you on Father’s Day to share some thoughts I have and to introduce you to the daughter you may not even know is out there. I think of you often but felt compelled this year to share with you my thoughts and feelings about our adoption and about your beautiful daughter.
My wife and I adopted our daughter at birth, and it was the happiest day of my life at that point. To be granted the gift of fatherhood is the most important gift I have ever received. Having my daughter is the greatest joy of my life. I get to experience what life is all about for me. I get to love and be loved, to protect, to provide, to teach and to learn. What is most important to me is that my daughter gets whatever is best for her in their growth, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I believe having an open and honest dialogue about you is what is best for my daughter both mentally and emotionally. I can’t help but wonder how you might feel about having a daughter out there that you don’t know? Would you have chosen adoption for her? Would you have chosen me to be her dad? The answers to these questions haunt me at times, but I am hopeful that you would be content knowing how much she is loved by our family.
My daughter has always known that she was adopted. We have been open about her birth family and she has an open adoption with her birth mother and birth siblings. Although we do not know who you are, my child has always known you are out there somewhere. We often talk about you, generally, we say “I wonder if you got your beautiful hair from your birth father and maybe even the mischievous twinkle in your eye?” As she gets older and has more questions, I want you to know that we will always be truthful and transparent. We know these discussions of you will get increasingly difficult, particularly since we don’t have any details to share, but we promise to always talk about you in a positive manner. I hope that our daughter will someday find you and that you both get the best of what reunification can bring. I know that may someday be hard for me, but I believe she should get the chance to know you, and love you, the way I have known and loved her throughout her life.
I would love to share with you all the amazing things that make up our daughter. How she loves animals, and wants animals to be part of every minute of everyday. She makes some of the most beautiful pictures, and they tell the story of her hopes and feelings. She makes friends easily with her beautiful smile and outgoing nature! She is a picky eater and isn’t too keen on trying new things, but is getting a little more adventurous. She is strong, sensitive and resilient. She loves to tell stories and to tell you random facts she’s learned at school. She LOVES to be tickled and she has an infectious giggle. She has shown an ability to handle adversity and find success. While she loves to play games and run around with her friends, she doesn’t like organized sports and could play make believe with her Barbies for hours. I often wonder which of these traits she received from you. There are so many unanswered questions, but watching her, I know that she is who she is at least in some ways due to who you are, and in some ways because I’ve had the pleasure of raising her.
Being a father is wonderful, but it is also difficult. Being a father through adoption is that way too. I wish you got the pleasure of knowing this sweet girl. I hope you too would be as proud as her as I am, and I hope that you would be proud of how I am raising her. I promise she will always know that I love her and will do my best being her dad. You are a part of this incredible little girl and because of that, you are very special to me.
Happy Father’s Day…
