Learn more about the adoption process.
Are You Really Prepared for the Adoption?
If you’ve been following along this month, we are finally to the point where it gets really exciting, but also very nerve-wracking! You’ve been chosen as prospective adoptive parents for a child and you have to get prepared to possibly become a parent, likely in much less preparation time than you’d have if you were pregnant yourself. So, what do you need to know and become prepared for?! Click here to read more.
Being Chosen and Next Steps
You get chosen by an expectant family considering adoption for their child! Such amazing news and one of the major milestones in the domestic adoption journey. Many families have long waits and MANY presentations before they get to this point. But what is next? And what does being chosen really mean? Being chosen just means that you are one step closer to a child, and while it is a major milestone, that child may never actually be yours. Click here to read more about what happens after a match, and what NOT to do when you are chosen by an expectant parent whose baby isn’t expected for a bit.
Empathy and Care for Expectant Mothers
I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.
The Cost of Adoption
Domestic infant adoption can be really expensive and the average cost is currently around $41,000. There is a lot of variability in domestic infant adoption costs by state and by the type of professionals that are involved in your adoption (agency, attorneys, etc.). The costs you might see in a domestic infant adoption will vary considerably depending on the type of adoption (private/independent, attorney, or agency adoption) and the state from which you are adopting. The adoption professionals recommended by Purl typically have adoption opportunities with total costs (including home study related costs) ranging between $8,000 and $50,000, with the majority falling between $25,000 and $45,000. In this post, we break down the types of costs prospective adoptive parents may incur during their adoption journey, but what is permissible and typical will also be governed by the law in the states involved. Click here to read more about the costs you might expect in domestic infant adoption.
The Adoption Wait
Once you’ve figured out your preferences in your adoption, what is next? The dreaded adoption wait. If you’re working with an adoption advisor like Purl, you’re likely getting on the waitlist for many different attorneys and agencies. You might be including some adoption outreach, hoping to connect with an expectant family that way. You are then waiting for an expectant family to choose you or find you through your outreach, typically speeding up your adoption journey. But it can take only a few weeks or months, or even a few years to be selected, but your chances are much better in a multi-faceted approach. Click here to read more about what to expect from the adoption wait.
The All-Important Adoption Profile
The Adoption Profile is one of the most important parts of the domestic adoption process! Why? Because it is typically how you are chosen by an expectant mom, or expectant parents, choosing adoption for their child. It can be difficult for expectant parents to interview or speak with numerous prospective adoptive families when making this decision, but still want to make the right choice for their child. So adoption profiles typically tell a prospective adoptive family’s story in a scrapbook-type manner, allowing expectant families to consider many different families more quickly as they make an adoption plan. Click here to read more about the adoption profile, how it is used in the domestic adoption process, and tips to create a great one!
Adoption Preferences In Your Journey
As I spoke about in my post yesterday, the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these difficult decisions.
Choices You Must Make In Domestic Adoption
One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences”, see adoption opportunities based on those preferences and then basically have to make a choice whether to “present” to an expectant parent choosing adoption for their child. Click here to read more about this awkwardness in the domestic infant adoption process.
The Home Study Process in Adoption
The Home Study process in a domestic infant adoption seems really intimidating, but it is actually pretty low stress, aside from all the papercuts you will receive! Click here to read more about what the home study process is like for prospective adoptive parents in a domestic infant adoption.
Choosing Adoption Professionals for Your Journey
Who you choose to help you navigate your adoption journey is probably the most important step in the domestic infant adoption process. As we have discussed many times in past blog posts, we feel the best option for domestic infant adoption is to have someone guide you through the process, like we do at Purl. We encourage you to watch our video on The Real Scoop About Hiring an Adoption Advisor we prepared a few years ago, to help you in selecting the right adoption advisor for you. To read more about how we recommend selecting attorneys/agencies in their journey, read more of our brief update below.
The Steps in a Domestic Infant Adoption Process
Many people consider adopting but become too discouraged by the complexity of the adoption process to proceed past an initial thought. Adoption requires research, education, preparation, money and time, with a lot of challenges along the way. No two adoptions will be the same, and each state's laws are a little different, but each domestic infant adoption will typically follow the same general steps: Click here to read more about the steps we recommend in the domestic infant adoption process.
We want to adopt, but what type of adoption is right for our family?
There are many different ways to adopt, and deciding which route is right for you BEFORE you start the process is really important. Each of these types of adoptions discussed in this post will have different steps in the process, so it is helpful to do a lot of research on adoption generally (particularly the loss inherent in adoption) and talk with different adoption professionals first to determine the best route for you and your family — before you spend any substantial sum of money. In this post, you will find a brief discussion on domestic infant adoption, international adoption, adopting through foster care, and even embryo donation/adoption (really not adoption at all in most cases). We hope this quick summary will help you determine if any of these options are right for you.
National Adoption Awareness Month
During the month of November we raise awareness of adoption during National Adoption Awareness Month. While every type of adoption is recognized this month, the particular focus this month is to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children and youth in foster care. The number of children and teens needing homes is evident by looking at AdoptUSKids or heart galleries typically showing available children by state. The history of National Adoption Awareness Month dates back to 1976 when the Governor of Massachusetts announced the first Adoption Week. This idea grew in popularity and quickly spread nation wide. In 1995, President Clinton expanded the week to the entire month of November. I have given other ideas on how to recognize National Adoption Day in years past. This year, to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month, we’re going to post each day about some topic in adoption, but focusing on education and helping families better understand the adoption process and what things you might experience if you adopt. To learn more about us and how we plan to cover National Adoption Awareness Month, click here.
A Different Life, Not a Better Life
I can’t help but focus on this key phrase now that I know more, now that I’ve spent five years listening to adoptees’ voices, particularly those adoptees that experience serious discontent with their adoptions. The phrase that hits me hard as the truth now: Different isn’t better. An adoptive parent may be able to offer a more financially stable home, more opportunities for education, extracurricular activities and travel. But, the trade off to that is that there was still maternal separation and that child will likely experience trauma and loss due to their adoption, in a transracial adoption, there might also be loss associated with separation from their culture. So that child’s life will definitely be different, the adoptee will face different hardships after an adoption than they would have had in their biological home, but there will be hardships nonetheless. Click here to read more on Katie’s reflections.
Birthday Reflections
In this blog post, I (Tessa Reagan Vilte, Purl Adoption Advisor) share reflections on my sons first birthday. Birthdays in a family built by adoption can be different, there is a lot more weight and emotion that goes into them. In this post I share how this birthday, the whirlwind that was my child’s’ first year, the grief I was holding for him, his story and his birth mom caught up with me. Click here to read more of Tessa’s reflections on this day.
Funding Your Adoption With Adoption Grants
In this post, Adoption Advisor - Tessa Reagan Vilte shares her experience with grants throughout her personal adoption journey and encouragement and advice for families hoping to secure grants for funding. “Securing grants for our adoption was not easy. In order to receive an adoption grant, you are usually completing long grant applications, and even paying some application fees. For someone going through the adoption process, more paperwork (and more money, without guaranteed success) adds tremendous stress. An advisor like Purl offers a list of active grants you can apply for and qualifications needed for each grant, which saves you a lot of time and energy in your adoption journey.” Click here to learn more about funding your adoption through grants.
Donor Conception and its Impact on Future Generations
Purl’s Director of Graphic Design, Ali Alvidrez, has been helping families adopt through profile and outreach material design for Purl for over four years. Ali is the only member of the Purl Team who is not a member of the adoption triad. However, Ali’s family experience with assisted reproduction is relevant to the impact of embryo donation/adoption on future generations. As Purl expands into guidance in embryo donation/adoption, Ali felt compelled to share her personal experience on the impact of donor conception on her definition of “family'“ today. In this blog post, Ali shares her relationship to a biological half-sister through assisted reproduction.
Our New Adoption Advisor Shares Her Personal Adoption Story
Purl’s newest Adoption Advisor, Tessa Reagan Vilte, shares her own personal adoption journey in today’s blog. She shares what it was like adopting with the support of a different adoption consultant. She also shares why she decided to join Purl. To learn more about Tessa’s story, and the different experience working with a different adoption consultant, click here.
Are You Really Prepared for the Adoption?
If you’ve been following along this month, we are finally to the point where it gets really exciting, but also very nerve-wracking! You’ve been chosen as prospective adoptive parents for a child and you have to get prepared to possibly become a parent, likely in much less preparation time than you’d have if you were pregnant yourself. So, what do you need to know and become prepared for?! Click here to read more.
Being Chosen and Next Steps
You get chosen by an expectant family considering adoption for their child! Such amazing news and one of the major milestones in the domestic adoption journey. Many families have long waits and MANY presentations before they get to this point. But what is next? And what does being chosen really mean? Being chosen just means that you are one step closer to a child, and while it is a major milestone, that child may never actually be yours. Click here to read more about what happens after a match, and what NOT to do when you are chosen by an expectant parent whose baby isn’t expected for a bit.
Empathy and Care for Expectant Mothers
I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.
The Cost of Adoption
Domestic infant adoption can be really expensive and the average cost is currently around $41,000. There is a lot of variability in domestic infant adoption costs by state and by the type of professionals that are involved in your adoption (agency, attorneys, etc.). The costs you might see in a domestic infant adoption will vary considerably depending on the type of adoption (private/independent, attorney, or agency adoption) and the state from which you are adopting. The adoption professionals recommended by Purl typically have adoption opportunities with total costs (including home study related costs) ranging between $8,000 and $50,000, with the majority falling between $25,000 and $45,000. In this post, we break down the types of costs prospective adoptive parents may incur during their adoption journey, but what is permissible and typical will also be governed by the law in the states involved. Click here to read more about the costs you might expect in domestic infant adoption.
The Adoption Wait
Once you’ve figured out your preferences in your adoption, what is next? The dreaded adoption wait. If you’re working with an adoption advisor like Purl, you’re likely getting on the waitlist for many different attorneys and agencies. You might be including some adoption outreach, hoping to connect with an expectant family that way. You are then waiting for an expectant family to choose you or find you through your outreach, typically speeding up your adoption journey. But it can take only a few weeks or months, or even a few years to be selected, but your chances are much better in a multi-faceted approach. Click here to read more about what to expect from the adoption wait.
The All-Important Adoption Profile
The Adoption Profile is one of the most important parts of the domestic adoption process! Why? Because it is typically how you are chosen by an expectant mom, or expectant parents, choosing adoption for their child. It can be difficult for expectant parents to interview or speak with numerous prospective adoptive families when making this decision, but still want to make the right choice for their child. So adoption profiles typically tell a prospective adoptive family’s story in a scrapbook-type manner, allowing expectant families to consider many different families more quickly as they make an adoption plan. Click here to read more about the adoption profile, how it is used in the domestic adoption process, and tips to create a great one!
Adoption Preferences In Your Journey
As I spoke about in my post yesterday, the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these difficult decisions.
Choices You Must Make In Domestic Adoption
One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences”, see adoption opportunities based on those preferences and then basically have to make a choice whether to “present” to an expectant parent choosing adoption for their child. Click here to read more about this awkwardness in the domestic infant adoption process.
The Home Study Process in Adoption
The Home Study process in a domestic infant adoption seems really intimidating, but it is actually pretty low stress, aside from all the papercuts you will receive! Click here to read more about what the home study process is like for prospective adoptive parents in a domestic infant adoption.
Choosing Adoption Professionals for Your Journey
Who you choose to help you navigate your adoption journey is probably the most important step in the domestic infant adoption process. As we have discussed many times in past blog posts, we feel the best option for domestic infant adoption is to have someone guide you through the process, like we do at Purl. We encourage you to watch our video on The Real Scoop About Hiring an Adoption Advisor we prepared a few years ago, to help you in selecting the right adoption advisor for you. To read more about how we recommend selecting attorneys/agencies in their journey, read more of our brief update below.
The Steps in a Domestic Infant Adoption Process
Many people consider adopting but become too discouraged by the complexity of the adoption process to proceed past an initial thought. Adoption requires research, education, preparation, money and time, with a lot of challenges along the way. No two adoptions will be the same, and each state's laws are a little different, but each domestic infant adoption will typically follow the same general steps: Click here to read more about the steps we recommend in the domestic infant adoption process.
We want to adopt, but what type of adoption is right for our family?
There are many different ways to adopt, and deciding which route is right for you BEFORE you start the process is really important. Each of these types of adoptions discussed in this post will have different steps in the process, so it is helpful to do a lot of research on adoption generally (particularly the loss inherent in adoption) and talk with different adoption professionals first to determine the best route for you and your family — before you spend any substantial sum of money. In this post, you will find a brief discussion on domestic infant adoption, international adoption, adopting through foster care, and even embryo donation/adoption (really not adoption at all in most cases). We hope this quick summary will help you determine if any of these options are right for you.
National Adoption Awareness Month
During the month of November we raise awareness of adoption during National Adoption Awareness Month. While every type of adoption is recognized this month, the particular focus this month is to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children and youth in foster care. The number of children and teens needing homes is evident by looking at AdoptUSKids or heart galleries typically showing available children by state. The history of National Adoption Awareness Month dates back to 1976 when the Governor of Massachusetts announced the first Adoption Week. This idea grew in popularity and quickly spread nation wide. In 1995, President Clinton expanded the week to the entire month of November. I have given other ideas on how to recognize National Adoption Day in years past. This year, to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month, we’re going to post each day about some topic in adoption, but focusing on education and helping families better understand the adoption process and what things you might experience if you adopt. To learn more about us and how we plan to cover National Adoption Awareness Month, click here.
A Different Life, Not a Better Life
I can’t help but focus on this key phrase now that I know more, now that I’ve spent five years listening to adoptees’ voices, particularly those adoptees that experience serious discontent with their adoptions. The phrase that hits me hard as the truth now: Different isn’t better. An adoptive parent may be able to offer a more financially stable home, more opportunities for education, extracurricular activities and travel. But, the trade off to that is that there was still maternal separation and that child will likely experience trauma and loss due to their adoption, in a transracial adoption, there might also be loss associated with separation from their culture. So that child’s life will definitely be different, the adoptee will face different hardships after an adoption than they would have had in their biological home, but there will be hardships nonetheless. Click here to read more on Katie’s reflections.
Birthday Reflections
In this blog post, I (Tessa Reagan Vilte, Purl Adoption Advisor) share reflections on my sons first birthday. Birthdays in a family built by adoption can be different, there is a lot more weight and emotion that goes into them. In this post I share how this birthday, the whirlwind that was my child’s’ first year, the grief I was holding for him, his story and his birth mom caught up with me. Click here to read more of Tessa’s reflections on this day.
Funding Your Adoption With Adoption Grants
In this post, Adoption Advisor - Tessa Reagan Vilte shares her experience with grants throughout her personal adoption journey and encouragement and advice for families hoping to secure grants for funding. “Securing grants for our adoption was not easy. In order to receive an adoption grant, you are usually completing long grant applications, and even paying some application fees. For someone going through the adoption process, more paperwork (and more money, without guaranteed success) adds tremendous stress. An advisor like Purl offers a list of active grants you can apply for and qualifications needed for each grant, which saves you a lot of time and energy in your adoption journey.” Click here to learn more about funding your adoption through grants.
Donor Conception and its Impact on Future Generations
Purl’s Director of Graphic Design, Ali Alvidrez, has been helping families adopt through profile and outreach material design for Purl for over four years. Ali is the only member of the Purl Team who is not a member of the adoption triad. However, Ali’s family experience with assisted reproduction is relevant to the impact of embryo donation/adoption on future generations. As Purl expands into guidance in embryo donation/adoption, Ali felt compelled to share her personal experience on the impact of donor conception on her definition of “family'“ today. In this blog post, Ali shares her relationship to a biological half-sister through assisted reproduction.
Our New Adoption Advisor Shares Her Personal Adoption Story
Purl’s newest Adoption Advisor, Tessa Reagan Vilte, shares her own personal adoption journey in today’s blog. She shares what it was like adopting with the support of a different adoption consultant. She also shares why she decided to join Purl. To learn more about Tessa’s story, and the different experience working with a different adoption consultant, click here.
