Birthday Blues
An adoptive mom shares her reflection on her daughter’s first birthday and her heart for her daughter’s first mother.
What Open Adoption Isn’t
Open adoption and what that means can be a confusing and misunderstood subject. Today an adoptive mom, former Purl client and therapist shares her own thoughts on what open adoption isn’t, in order to address some of the misconceptions on the subject. To learn more, click here.
COVID-19 and Its Current Impact on Your Domestic Adoption
The COVID-19 pandemic is wrecking havoc on all aspects of life in the United States and abroad. Things are changing rapidly, but I thought I’d give you an update as to its current impact on prospective adoptive parents’ domestic adoption journey. I have consulted with many of the professionals I work with closely and this update includes feedback from professionals across the country. If circumstances change dramatically, I will provide further updates. I also recommend that prospective adoptive families contact the specific professionals they are working with in their state (or an expectant mother’s state) to get specific updates on their circumstances. But please consider that everyone is being pulled in many different ways during this crisis, so everyone involved in the adoption community may be slower to respond. Please try and be patient and kind to all during this crisis.
A Foster Care Adoption–One Foster Parent’s Perspective
A foster parent shares her experience of fostering to adopt her son. This journey and route of growing our families differs greatly from private infant adoption, and yet yields similar results: a child cherished, gained and celebrated.
Transracial Adoption; an adoptive mom’s perspective
My daughter is only 10 months old and so fortunately, I have a long way to go in understanding the beautiful complexities of adopting transracially. I do know that though I look at both of my daughters and see two uniquely displayed personalities and physically made bodies, I feel the same insurmountable love for them both. I know from other friends who have adopted transracially that as their child grows up and starts to understand people's looks, questions and comments, that things can feel heavy and confusing. I believe that this isn't unique to transracial adoption, as many kids who were adopted struggle to sort through those questions related to their beginnings and their biology. But adopting transracially is specifically identifying because from the outside, our family looks different. We don't match. We can't avoid the topic of adoption coming up, simply by trying to avoid those discussions that day at the grocery store, simply because our beautiful daughter doesn't look like us. Click here to read more!
How Naive I Was About Race
As you probably know, February is Black History Month. I often feature other writers or adoptees to talk about race and transracial adoption, since I can’t speak to that from personal experience. I was admittedly naïve about transracial adoption before my own personal adoption experience, even though I always considered myself someone that was very open on race, in my words “color-blind”.
First off, a little about me. I grew up in the suburbs of Tucson, Arizona….
Cringe-Worthy Statements About Adoption…
If you’re an adoptee, birth mother, or adoptive parent and you’re like me, you probably have heard many people say things to you about adoption that make you want to cringe! Now, I know I likely heard (or maybe even thought) these things before adopting my daughter and really understanding adoption but I’m so glad to have learned better now. I want to help others learn too!
Some of the statements I have heard about adoption that make me want to cringe. Check out our post to learn why, and to add your own bothersome statements to help others be educated on what adoption is (or at least should be).
Some Common Phrases About Adoption
If you are a parent through domestic adoption, you’ve probably heard the following phrases said to you by well-meaning friends, family, acquaintances and even perfect strangers: “Why didn’t her birth mother want her?” “Why didn’t her birth mother love her enough to keep her?” “What is the story with her real mother?'“ “She’s so lucky to be in your family!” I wanted to touch on each of these briefly for people who may not be as familiar with adoption, and to also help adoptive families learn how to better respond to these types of questions/comments.
The Hospital Experience for a Prospective Adoptive Parent
We have discussed the domestic adoption process for a prospective adoptive parent up to the point where you are matched, have traveled, and now have arrived at the hospital. You have prepared a gift for the expectant family, you are being as flexible as possible in the hospital because you know adoption plans change and are fluid, but wow, are you stressed! The period of time between the birth and the signing of consents is rough, there is no way around it. It is obviously very hard on the expectant family, who are likely making one of the most difficult decisions of their lives. But it is also very difficult as a prospective adoptive parent. Read my own experience with this waiting period, I called it “An Adoptive Parent’s Labor”.
Preparing for Travel and ICPC
If you are a prospective adoptive parent chosen for a child that is going to be born in a different state than your state of residence, you will need to travel for the birth and stay in that state until you are cleared through the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (“ICPC”). ICPC is an agreement enacted by all 50 U.S. states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands and it governs the placement of children from one state into another state. To learn more about ICPC, making adoption travel accomodations and what to pack, read more!
