Adoption is Hard Archives

Everyone Isn’t Meant to Adopt…

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T15:11:51-07:00June 30, 2020|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I felt I just needed to be blunt. I often get calls from families that are hoping to adopt due to infertility or other obstacles creating their family naturally, but without a lot of understanding and knowledge about adoption, and the impact of it on all members of the adoption triad. So because of this, I just want to tell you that ADOPTION IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! Make sure you do your homework before you begin, and definitely before you bring your child home. It is okay if you research adoption and decide it isn’t for you. In my opinion, there isn’t enough education and preparation that happens in the typical home study process, and you need to do the work as prospective adoptive parents to make sure this is the route you want to take to grow your family. Click here to learn more.

Adoption Disruption: An Interview

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T15:13:07-07:00June 26, 2020|Adoption Disruption, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process|

When families decide to take the leap with a domestic infant adoption, one of the most vulnerable moments as a prospective adoptive parent is waiting for the child’s birth parent to sign the consents to the adoption, otherwise known as relinquishments, typically done a few days after the birth of the child. Many parents considering an adoption plan for their child feel that confirmation to continue with the adoption plan postpartum, while others do decide to parent their child, leading to what is commonly called a “disrupted adoption”. “Michelle,” her husband and her two older children walked through a disrupted adoption and are now on the other side. She shares their story, in the hopes that others walking through the similar pains of a disrupted adoption would find comfort, as well as to share how her older children processed the complicated nature of adoption loss.

Birthday Blues

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:11:10-07:00May 12, 2020|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

An adoptive mom shares her reflection on her daughter’s first birthday and her heart for her daughter’s first mother.

The Awkwardness of Saying Yes or No to a Child

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:44:05-07:00November 12, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences” and decide what types of adoption opportunities they want to see and have the opportunity “present” to.

Respect and Empathy for Expectant Mothers

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:45:11-07:00November 11, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.

The Brokenness and Sadness Inherent in Adoption

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:53:02-07:00October 13, 2019|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Hoping to Adopt|

Does the brokenness and sadness inherent in adoption hit you at the weirdest times?

I have an odd combination of interests, I am a huge college football and basketball fan having spent part of my career working in college athletics, but I also absolutely love musical theater having grown up in that world. Luckily my husband is usually game to catch a musical with me, and last week we went and saw the revival of Miss Saigon when it came through town. It was one of the few popular musicals I hadn’t seen, and I was so excited to go even though I was exhausted due to my two toddlers’ sleep regressions and newfound middle of the night fears.

My Loss that Led to My Daughter

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:54:11-07:00October 7, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

October 7 - today marks four years to the day a sweet baby boy was born, a baby I thought was mine. This day still makes me a little sad and nostalgic, even though I would not have taken home my daughter Cora two months later had we adopted this little guy. To read more about the adoption loss that lead to my daughter, click here.

“The Wait” in Adoption

BPetersonDesign2023-07-19T16:01:28-07:00October 4, 2019|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Hoping to Adopt|

This guest blog post is written by Kirstyn of Travis and Kirstyn, currently our longest waiting Purl Family. Kirstyn writes about the difficulties she’s experienced in the adoption wait, and her hope that the child meant for her arms is coming.

“The Wait”. In the adoption world, those two words refer to the time between when you are home study approved, or legally certified to adopt, and when a child is legally placed in your family and can no longer be returned to his/her biological family. This month marks a year of our “waiting” process (7 months as a Purl client), and I never imagined it would this challenging and painful.

The Emotions of Adopting a Child Born In Addiction

BPetersonDesign2023-09-14T11:54:26-07:00September 23, 2019|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

This blog piece is written by a guest blogger who has adopted two children through domestic infant adoption. I believe strongly that parents through adoption should protect their child’s story, that’s why this piece is being shared anonymously.

I’m totally in love with a woman who gave me so much of herself, so much of myself. And I hate her. I struggle reconciling these opposite, intense feelings, all for one person. How can I love someone so tragically? How can I hate her when I feel such gratitude? It was through counseling that I learned how normal it is. It was through counseling that I learned this is what it’s like to love an addict.

Parenting Children with Horizontal Identities

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:57:39-07:00September 3, 2019|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

This guest blog post is written by Ashley, a mother of three daughters through infant adoption. Her and her husband Jason are a former Purl family.

I’m raising three girls--my daughters--whose identities will be different from mine in a fundamental way. They were all adopted at birth, and unlike me, are raised by parents and others in our village who do not share their biology. This isn’t a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around anymore and while it shifts my identity as a mother and distances me from the experiences of most mothers I know just a bit, my entire family has been built on love and choice and taking purposeful steps forward, not blood--which I appreciate and feel great pride in. More importantly, though, this adoptee identity is one my children will wrestle with, wrestling that I can’t do for them. To read more, click the link below.

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