Adoption is Hard Archives

Giving Young Adoptees Tools to Discuss Adoption (OR NOT!)

Katie Zimmerman2023-07-29T13:04:49-07:00July 28, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption|

As you may know, I (Katie - Founder/CEO) have two daughters that are only eight months apart in age. We are that cliché that everyone talks about, we discovered a very unexpected pregnancy after already being placed with our daughter through adoption. Before someone asks, it was not because we "relaxed and stopped trying and then it just happened". There was nothing relaxing about the adoption process or the adoption disruption we had around the time we must have conceived our younger daughter. But, we were very lucky to have become pregnant naturally after being unsuccessful in multiple rounds of fertility treatments, and we feel so lucky to have our two daughters. But having siblings through adoption - one adopted and one a biological child can present some unique situations and considerations for adoptive families, especially if they are close to the same age, or if they are of a different ethnicity. To read more about education that is necessary for our kids in these situations, click here.

Problems in Domestic Adoption and Purl Filling a HUGE Gap

Katie Zimmerman2024-09-05T18:02:45-07:00July 8, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Outreach, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Learn, Open Adoption (Learn)|

What a week it has been! Please excuse the rant that follows as I (Katie - CEO/Founder) share some of my frustrations about the current state of the world of domestic infant adoption. Whether it be recently explaining to an agency director why I won't recommend their licensed adoption agency that routinely ships the expectant mothers they work with across lines to their "adoption friendly" state, or having to justify the work that Purl is doing as an adoption advisor in a sea of unethical adoption professionals, I'm frankly exhausted and questioning why I make the huge effort to do the work I do. Today I candidly some of my thoughts on the problems with the current state of domestic adoption and explain again what Purl is doing to fill the HUGE gaps caused by other adoption professionals. Click here to read more.

Dear Birth Father of My Child

Katie Zimmerman2023-06-18T15:37:13-07:00June 18, 2023|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Learn, Open Adoption (Learn)|

This is a letter by an adoptive father to his daughter's birth father, who was not involved in the adoption plan and is still unknown to her adoptive family. I am a dad through adoption and the only person my daughter has known as a father. I wanted to write to you on Father’s Day to share some thoughts I have and to introduce you to the daughter you may not even know is out there. I think of you often but felt compelled this year to share with you my thoughts and feelings about our adoption and about your beautiful daughter. Click here to read more.

Trauma in Domestic Infant Adoption

Katie Zimmerman2023-06-09T09:01:00-07:00June 9, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

We are continuing our series on the “Things I Did Wrong” in our own adoptions to help prospective adoptive parents better prepare for their own adoption journeys. Once again CEO/Founder is coming back to share more of her mistakes. This time, she’ll be sharing her mistakes in choosing infant adoption as a route to grow her family, erroneously assuming this would avoid any trauma in an adoptee, as compared to either adoption from foster care or international adoption. Click here to read more about trauma in infant adoption.

Saviorism in Adoption

Kelcie Grace Germano2023-06-09T09:20:10-07:00June 1, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Hoping to Adopt, Learn|

Today we continue our series on “What I Did Wrong as a Prospective Adoptive Parent”. In this blog Purl Advisor, Kelcie Grace, will discuss the concept of saviorism in adoption and how prospective adoptive parents early in the adoption process often see themselves as “helping a baby in need of a loving home” and fail to grasp the complexities and trauma of adoption. To read more, click here.

Oversharing My Adoption Story

Aubrey Cortez2023-06-09T09:21:45-07:00May 27, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Learn|

Hi there! My name is Aubrey, I am one of the Purl advisors and today I am sharing one of the biggest mistakes I made on my personal adoption journey: oversharing my child's adoption story. Parenting is hard and it's easy to get caught up in all the things we could have done better. My hope is by sharing a sliver of my story, prospective adoptive families that are just starting their journeys can learn from my mistake. Click here to read more.

Celebrating Adoption Finalization – This Gay Dad’s Perspective

Katie Zimmerman2023-05-22T11:20:21-07:00May 22, 2023|Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

If you've been following along, our CEO/Founder, Katie Zimmerman, has been doing a series surrounding the things she feels she did wrong in her domestic infant adoption journey, with the benefit of hindsight. We have gotten a lot of positive feedback from our readers and our fellow Purl Families who we have helped along the way. Daniel Duran, who adopted his daughter a few years ago with his husband with our support, sent this response to our recent post about whether we should celebrate adoption finalization days. In it, Daniel shares what celebrating adoption finalization means to him as a gay dad. We hope you enjoy this perspective and we hope this encourages you to also share your thoughts on the "mistakes" we have been discussing! Click here to read more.

Celebrating Adoption Finalization Day

Katie Zimmerman2023-05-21T16:01:22-07:00May 18, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Learn, Open Adoption (Learn)|

We are continuing our series on "What I Did Wrong as a Prospective Adoptive Parent" with a discussion about celebrating adoption finalization day. I know this one in particular may be hard to hear for some prospective adoptive parents or adoptive parents, and you may not agree with me on it, but please hear me out. I recognize that I too celebrated my child's own adoption finalization day for years, and still acknowledge it even now due to the mistakes I made early in my own adoption journey. But I wanted to at least post about this so people consider whether it makes sense to regularly celebrate this day, particularly once your child has a better understanding of its actual meaning? Click here to read more.

Insecurity About “Mom” and Fears About Open Adoption

Katie Zimmerman2023-05-21T16:02:22-07:00May 17, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Open Adoption (Learn), Uncategorized|

As Mother's Day approached, I (Katie - CEO/Founder of Purl) tried unsuccessfully to get this blog post up. Because Mother's Day is complicated for so many people, including those touched by adoption. I struggled to organize my thoughts about my own insecurity with my own motherhood through adoption and how that related to my fears of open adoption. While it has been relatively easy for me to share my other mistakes in my adoption journey, this was one area that was especially hard for me. Maybe it was due to embarrassment, but after the 10th draft, here are my still scrambled thoughts... The mistake I'm discussing today centered around my own insecurity about the role of "Mother", and how that impacted my adoption journey and even the early years of my child's open adoption. Click here to read more.

Naming An Adopted Child

Katie Zimmerman2023-05-21T16:00:21-07:00May 9, 2023|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption|

One area I (Katie - CEO/Founder of Purl) went wrong as a prospective adoptive parent was my thoughts and process on naming an adopted child. My perspective at the time of our adoption journey was that this was going to be my child and I should get to name my child. The adoption professionals we worked with didn’t give me any education on this area, and instead said the name the expectant mother gave the child didn’t really matter because we could change the name after finalization. Click on this link to read more about how dramatically my opinion has changed about the right and privilege to name a child, as well as a discussion as to how the issuance of the birth certificate works in an adoption setting, and what impact that has on adoptees' ability to secure a copy of their birth certificate later on.

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