Adoption Advisor Archives

How Naive I Was About Race

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:25:54-07:00February 13, 2020|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

As you probably know, February is Black History Month. I often feature other writers or adoptees to talk about race and transracial adoption, since I can’t speak to that from personal experience. I was admittedly naïve about transracial adoption before my own personal adoption experience, even though I always considered myself someone that was very open on race, in my words “color-blind”.

First off, a little about me. I grew up in the suburbs of Tucson, Arizona….

The Hospital Experience for a Prospective Adoptive Parent

BPetersonDesign2022-03-31T09:29:40-07:00November 30, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

We have discussed the domestic adoption process for a prospective adoptive parent up to the point where you are matched, have traveled, and now have arrived at the hospital. You have prepared a gift for the expectant family, you are being as flexible as possible in the hospital because you know adoption plans change and are fluid, but wow, are you stressed! The period of time between the birth and the signing of consents is rough, there is no way around it. It is obviously very hard on the expectant family, who are likely making one of the most difficult decisions of their lives. But it is also very difficult as a prospective adoptive parent. Read my own experience with this waiting period, I called it “An Adoptive Parent’s Labor”.

Preparing for Travel and ICPC

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:35:06-07:00November 28, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

If you are a prospective adoptive parent chosen for a child that is going to be born in a different state than your state of residence, you will need to travel for the birth and stay in that state until you are cleared through the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (“ICPC”). ICPC is an agreement enacted by all 50 U.S. states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands and it governs the placement of children from one state into another state. To learn more about ICPC, making adoption travel accomodations and what to pack, read more!

Preparing for An Adoption

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:35:54-07:00November 25, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Home Study, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Infertility|

If you’ve been following along this month, we are finally to the point where it gets really exciting, but also very nerve-wracking! You’ve been chosen as prospective adoptive parents for a child and you have to get prepared to possibly become a parent, likely in much less preparation time than you’d have if you were pregnant yourself. So, what do you need to know and become prepared for?! If you have an adoption advisor like Purl, your advisor and the attorney or agency you matched through should be helping thoroughly prepare you for the following topics between when you are chosen and when the baby arrives…

Chosen?! But now what?

BPetersonDesign2023-07-19T16:07:49-07:00November 21, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

You get chosen by an expectant family considering adoption for their child! Such amazing news and one of the major milestones in the domestic adoption journey. Many families have long waits and MANY presentations before they get to this point. But what is next? And what does being chosen really mean? Being chosen just means that you are one step closer to a child, and while it is a major milestone, that child may never actually be yours.

So You Determined Your Preferences, What’s Next?

BPetersonDesign2023-07-19T16:05:39-07:00November 19, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Domestic infant adoption, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

Once you’ve figured out your preferences in your adoption, what is next? The dreaded adoption wait. If you’re working with an adoption advisor like Purl, you’re likely getting on the waitlist for many different attorneys and agencies. You might be including some adoption outreach, hoping to connect with an expectant family that way. You are then waiting for an expectant family to choose you or find you through your outreach, typically speeding up your adoption journey. But it can take only a few weeks or months, or even a few years to be selected, but your chances are much better in a multi-faceted approach (in fact, none of our Purl families have waited over a year to match with an expectant family).

Adoption Outreach Basics

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:42:42-07:00November 15, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Outreach, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt|

Are you a prospective adoptive parent that is waiting for an attorney or agency to match you with an expectant family considering adoption for their child? Are you a couple who isn’t totally comfortable self-matching or advertising yourself online, or maybe paid advertising isn’t legal in your state? I always encourage my Purl families who are home study approved to at least do what I call “Adoption Outreach Light”, which basically means that you are spreading the word to friends, families and colleagues that you are hoping to adopt, but maybe not doing any sort of active marketing or paid advertising. I encourage my Purl families to give their contacts a simple way to pass along more information about their family in the event they learn of someone facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption for their child (ie. a copy of a short profile or a link to a website where they can learn more). Adoptions that result from friends and family connections can be great opportunities for prospective adoptive parents and expectant families, and are often much less expensive than adopting through an adoption agency.

Resources for Determining Preferences in Your Domestic Adoption

BPetersonDesign2022-04-08T09:24:05-07:00November 14, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption Process, Drug/Alcohol Exposure, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

As I spoke about in my post from a few days ago (here), the domestic adoption process is so awkward in that you are essentially saying yes or no to a child. Sometimes you are doing it just by setting preferences in your adoption, but sometimes you’re actually reviewing a summary of an adoption opportunity and saying yes or no as to whether to present your family profile to the expectant family considering adoption for that child. When prospective adoptive parents start to consider their adoption preferences, many have no idea what they should say when adoption professionals ask what types of circumstances they would consider. Here are just a few of the things you should research and educate yourself on as you determine your adoption preferences, as well as some resources for helping you navigate these decisions.

The Awkwardness of Saying Yes or No to a Child

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:44:05-07:00November 12, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn), Transracial Adoption (Learn)|

One of the things that I like least about the domestic infant adoption process is that prospective adoptive parents are basically saying yes or no to a child. Most people outside the adoption community might not realize that prospective adoptive parents basically set their “adoption preferences” and decide what types of adoption opportunities they want to see and have the opportunity “present” to.

Respect and Empathy for Expectant Mothers

BPetersonDesign2022-04-01T16:45:11-07:00November 11, 2019|Adoption Advisor, Adoption Education, Adoption is Hard, Adoption Perspectives, Domestic infant adoption, Hoping to Adopt, Open Adoption (Learn)|

I’ve heard of a few circumstances lately where prospective adoptive parents act entitled to the child they have been chosen for, both before and after the birth of the child, but before consents are signed. This is one area I feel like prospective adoptive parents pursuing domestic infant adoption need the most education on - the respect and love that is required for any expectant mother they come into contact with in their adoption journey, and ultimately for the birth mother for their child.

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